People Pleasing and Perfectionism
You are burnt out. You feel overwhelmed by commitments and you’re afraid to let anyone down. You struggle to set boundaries and put your needs first. No one knows you’re struggling, you smile through the pain. I see you.
What You’re Going Through…
You may consider yourself a people-pleaser and/or a perfectionist. Holding yourself to unrealistically high standards is burning you out and causing you to feel less lively and free. You put on a smile for those around you, afraid to be a burden. Your harsh self-expectations make you feel like you’re never doing enough. This mindset causes an increase in anxiety, challenges finding your own voice, and losing sight of your values in an effort to please everyone around you. Not only does this impact your relationship with others, it impacts your relationship to yourself and your ability to move through the world in a way that feels meaningful and free.
These are challenges that I have helped many of my clients face, and challenges I have overcome myself. It is understandable to try to be your best, and it isn’t a bad thing to have goals in life, but when your world becomes overrun by the impulse to be “better,” you lose yourself and what is truly important to you in the process. The weight of these expectations can be crushing and it can feel like the end of the world to disappoint someone you care about, but if you don’t change, you’ll continue disappointing and neglecting yourself. It isn’t selfish to want to be happy and have your needs met first. There is usually a lot of guilt associated with this shift in mindset, and we often find connections to past situations that made you feel like you needed to be perfect to be loved or safe. You are not alone, our entire culture and society emphasizes productivity and “success” as the most important thing to achieve. I don’t want to stop you from shooting for the stars, I just want to explore which decisions feel aligned with your values, and which behaviors feel more like chains than achievements.
You Are Not Alone
We will collaborate and make a difference in your inner world.
I will work with you to explore the origins of these beliefs you hold about yourself so we can better understand what may be subconsciously driving your behavior. We will collaborate to uncover hidden beliefs using experiential methods like psychodrama, art therapy and internal family systems. Once we gain a deeper understanding of the core of your challenges, I will utilize tools from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help you reframe your thought patterns and change behaviors for the better. Using exploratory and creative modalities paired with structured and concrete tools will help you have a well rounded way to tackle these ongoing struggles you’ve been facing. I have full faith that you can make the changes necessary to pave your own path and feel empowered to do what is best for you.
